You look in the mirror. Your beard is looking disheveled. What do you do?
You head on over to our online store and stock up on some beard oil, that's what you do!
Do you want to feel manly? Do you want to feel sexy? Do you want to feel like you just stepped out of a field of roses? Okay not that last one.
We've perfected only the MANLIEST blends in our beard oils. Blends that make you feel like a hunter going in for the kill, even when you're in a suit & tie. Blends that make all the ladies fall into your lap, even when you're covered in grease & oil. Blends that will make you wish you had a cigar in your hand, even when you're holding a baby!
So let's get that beard ready, so you can look, smell, and feel like the amazing man you are! Even if you're in your underpants, playing world of Warcraft, in your moms basement. (ALT + TAB, Internet, www.artisanalbooty.weebly.com, Buy Products, add to cart, enter in information, mom brings it down to you when it arrives. Back to your game.)
Buy yourself some beard oil, TODAY!
PS; we have a BRAND NEW beard oil coming to your fluffy face soon!